| WEIRD WEIRD days lately. |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|04:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  discontent | ] |
I got my labret done. It is actually kind of annoying. The stud keeps catching on my teeth and it like rips out of my face. Especially when I eat. Its also fucking HUGE so I can't really hide it. Can't donate plasma either. I'll probably keep it for a little while, but I don't know if this'll be a permanent edition to my face. |
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| Because its been a while.. |
[Jan. 19th, 2009|08:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hopeful | ] |
So, my break is almost over and I'm kind of ready to start the bullshit again. I have a strong feeling that this semester is going to be NOTHING like the last one. Or any one I've had in La Crosse so far. We'll see. My break was pretty boring, I only trained for about 6 hours a week. It was RIDICULOUSLY dumb for the most part, and I actually disagreed with the trainer a lot. I kept my mouth shut though. She was kind of terrifying, so I thought it best to just let her breathe her hot air. But, when I get back; I get to finally start my classes! YES.
And someone texted me yesterday that I couldn't believe. Out of the blue I get a text from my old La Crosse pal Becky: "You in lax?" It figures I'd be in Milwaukee when she goes out to La Crosse to visit. But she says she is coming back to La Crosse next year! I'm pretty pumped. You only meet so many people in the world who actually get you, and its nice to actually see them once and a while.
And I have been really bi polar lately on how I feel about a dog next year. I REALLY want one, but can't decide whether I will be able to make time for it or not. I guess it depends on how this next semester plays out, but we'll see. I'm hoping the humane society will let me adopt, but I hear for people like me, those chances are pretty slim.
It sucks that I can't watch Flight of the Conchords!!!! I don't have cable, blah! |
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| Since I've come back to Milwaukee |
[Jan. 6th, 2009|09:07 pm] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Alone | ] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Shiny Toy Guns! | ] |
I ALWAYS have a knot in my stomache. I'm never hungry. I wake up almost every night and can't go back to sleep because of thoughts in my head. I get the same nightmare OVER AND OVER. Anything I do, I would rather NOT be doing it. I'm always feeling tired, restless, irate and worried - no matter what I'm doing. I don't see this changing soon. I feel like I'm covering it well. |
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| New Years Resolution |
[Jan. 4th, 2009|10:02 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cynical | ] |
| [ | music |
| | TSC | ] |
The cliche motivation of our new year. An empty promise to ourselves that we never stay loyal to. That is the new Years resolution. And since my intention of follow through is anything but genuine, I've set several standards for the new year in hopes that I will find the fortitude to find in myself at least one of them.
I want my grades this semester to pull up my average, I will work harder and actually make it possible to get into grad school.
I will not be selfless to the point that I am hurt. I want to think of myself first sometimes.
I will gain weight instead of loose it.
I will start playing guitar again, start writing, start drawing again.
I will read more, and seek out new things to read.
I will better compartmentalize my emotions from my actions.
I will only make friends this year, and not loose them.
I will fight harder than I have for the things I believe in.
These are my resolutions. Feel free to tell me yours |
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| Lets just call it a semester and all go home. |
[Dec. 16th, 2008|01:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  apathetic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Spill Canvas - Polygraph, Right Now! | ] |
Just had a pretty dumb day followed by a really good night. So it all balanced out. But after tomorrow, which is my last exam, I am just really going to hate that I have to be here. I have to work ONE DAY on saturday, so I have to wait around here with my thumb up my ass on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, just to work that one shift before I leave. Everyone will be gone. Guess its time to catch up on my reading...
And btw, it is negative 20 degrees Celsius right now. WTF. That means that if I were to spit on the fucking ground, it would freeze almost the second it hit the pavement. Its too early for that. I remember as a kid playing in the snow for hours, the cold didn't bother me at all. Now its like the kiss of death all over my body. Times have changed.
I need at 65/75 to get a B in Anatomy. Wish me luck |
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| What a small audience we've come to expect |
[Dec. 11th, 2008|03:31 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  drained | ] |
So, the semester is almost over, and even though I'm just really excited to get out of here - These couple have months have been intense and I'm glad they happened. Albeit yes, I have had some serious turmoil to top it all off, overall I wouldn't trade the benefits for anything. I am working my way towards an odd job that I'll actually LOVE, and it looks like that will actually start happening during the winter break. Dog training is really something that I think I'll be good at - to not be too narcissistic; I'm pretty patient, observant, understanding, and I learn pretty quickly. As little as I have honestly cared about my classes this semester (it didn't start out that way, but fuck if I'm going to argue with whats easy), they're going alright. And wouldn't have ever thought I could get this close with someone in such a short time, but that shows you how random life really is. That is what I love about life. Its what we can come to hate. Out of the complete blue, shit can change forever. You can spend so much time planning and preparing, and then something you never expected can happen and it was all in vain. So its not worth it to care and worry so much. Its pretty amazing and terrifying, ya know?
And you know what else I've really come to appreciate lately? Board games. Christ, can they complete an evening. You want a good night without the hangover, whip out a solid board game. Clue, Monopoly, Pictionary, its all bomb. Theres an Office trivia game I've been wanting to play pretty badly too... |
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| Catching up |
[Dec. 5th, 2008|12:46 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | worried | ] |
Sleeping seems to be a luxury that I can't have anymore....I wonder besides Lisa who really uses their Livejournal anymore....hmm.
I just want to stop worrying about what might happen in my life (my future, my finances, my love life........) and just live and let things happen. I used to be so good at that, until this year...Whatever. If I don't get into grad school next year, I'm thinking a BIG trip is in order. Somewhere tropical, maybe. I feel like Europe is just WAY overdone. I'm sure it's amazing, but its not the only place in the world.
I'm starting to doubt that I will actually have time for a dog next year, which is RIDICULOUSLY depressing. I just need to think of what is best for it. Next year might be a little hectic. I'm just looking at a LOT of credits to finish college in time, a lot of work, my senior dissertation and capstone seminar, applying for grad school, and now it looks like I'll be making a lot more weekend road trips next year.....depending on what happens in the next few weeks.
Its almost 1 am. I'm getting up in 8 hours, so I haven't lost any sleep yet, technically. Goodnight LJ.
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| "Last updated 87 weeks ago" |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|11:09 pm] |
That's well over a year. The internet is great in that it never forgets anything that you've done, even if it was 87 weeks ago. And my livejournal is still good. I noticed I don't talk to any of my friends on here anymore, maybe thats what killed this for me. I never was into the really long posts - even though theres been a few. And the shorter ones just don't seem worth the time. But I think keeping a journal is really reflective and I love retrospect.
So who am I since my last time putting anything on this page? In only that year and a half, I think back and realize I am a pretty different person, in both perception and opinion. My life goals have attenuated and I really think I know what I want to do with myself, even though I may not be able to in the end. I want to create my own wildlife reserve in which animal behavior research and guided tours are done. I know nothing about money, so I would need a lot of help, obviously. But to spend my life basically in the wild, teaching the world about the world....would be amazing. I am pursuing a PHD in animal behavior, hopefully that helps me along the way. I am building friends in my effort, as well. My good friend Sarah is pursuing vet medicine to cover the rescue aspect, and another few of my friends are pursuing business degrees who I would really love to cover finances. I even have a very close friend who is going to become a lawyer. I realize my head is in the clouds, but if we don't dream then our lives are walking along a path to nowhere. At least I know where I am trying to be. Even if I get lost, I hope I'll at least be in the right area, and maybe simply live and do research at a reserve.
I'm going to split this up into a couple of posts to make them shorter and segmented. So here ends the first one. Good to see you again, LJ |
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| The End |
[Feb. 20th, 2007|09:09 pm] |
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Yeah I don't have shit to say. Caleb's gone. I'm going to miss him. Nothing I can do about it. The. Fucking. End. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2006|12:06 am] |
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I hate it when people front. You'd be suprised who are the biggest fronts of them all. I know who they are. |
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| I will follow you into the dark |
[Aug. 22nd, 2006|08:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Death Cab | ] |
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 7th, 2006|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Heart - Crazy on You | ] |
Ok I was wrong and I apologize for completely belittling livejournal's usage base. There was a time when every little shit of my life was livejournal worthy. I guess eventually less and less became LJ worthy in my mind until nothing was. One thing I noticed though is the remaining Livejournalers mostly consist of people I have lost touch with. So the capoeria kid I met randomly on the bus, the fiery red headed zelda freak, all you old band/theatre kids, the chick I traded spider shirts with once, <--- that chicks skinny boyfriend (jk haha), the big sis of big kent, and those who i didn't forget but I'm not sure if they LJ anymore....hit me up. If not to get in touch again at least to tell me how lifes been treatin ya. I've missed out on a lot of LJ posts. |
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| Haven't had anything LJ worthy in so long |
[Jul. 28th, 2006|11:53 pm] |
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My wallet and cell phone fell off a parcel on my bike, and someone dishonest must have picked it up because it is completely gone and no one had contacted me about it, well it only had 8 bucks in it so I don't really know what happened. So I have a lot of shit to do to fix this, but I lost everyone's number in my phone, so I need everyone to message me your numbers. I'll hit everyone up soon when I get my new phone, which, since I'm conveniently 18 now, I am completely going to have to pay for myself. Bleh. Haha. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2006|09:29 pm] |
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Only one person I know uses this anymore |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 30th, 2006|11:06 am] |
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Damn can't even say hi anymore. |
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| I got your goodship lollipop right here! |
[Feb. 8th, 2006|10:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Being followed by ?s | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The bitch has got some pipes | ] |
I want to climb that mountain of fudge and rainbow sprinkles and reach the luscious red cherry on top. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 30th, 2006|09:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | morose | ] |
SO now I'm in Computer programming so I'll have a lot of time on my hands. Guess LJ is going to suffer by having my retarded posts again. Haha and apparantly these comps only have 65 mb of available memory. Anyone who knows computers knows how much of a joke that is.
I know this sounds stupid but I miss having a girlfriend. Theres just things I kinda miss. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|01:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
Minnesota doesn't want me. They accepted some of my friends with 2.9's and 23 ACTs but they reject me. W/e I just really wanted to go there. |
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